Trying to Find Myself
Updated: Dec 17, 2021
Haven’t we all at some point tried to find ourselves? You know, inner peace, that thing that may be missing in our lives but we just can’t put our finger on it. That empty feeling, like we should be doing more, or something different that makes us happy. Some people may try to meditate or read the Bible to find that peace, while others think they may find it on a vacation or in some exotic place.
Where would you start looking for yours?
My journey to inner peace started about 3 years ago. When we got that offer we had been waiting for on our house. We had decided to list our house so we could travel and be free. However, this did not come without consequences. From January to March 31 we focused on improvements and getting the house ready to sell. The house was mostly updated already, after all we had just replaced the entire guest bath the year before and I finally had my huge kitchen I had always wanted. I loved it, but I wasn’t happy. We were literally just finishing putting up trim in the enclosed patio when the realtor arrived. She was a good friend of ours and we trusted her, which is a plus in the market now a days.
I was feeling pretty good about our decision at this point because I was sick of the upkeep and the maintenance on the house. I just wanted out! We listed it April 1st and after many showings and open houses we decided it wasn’t selling because it needed a new roof. After hiring the roofing company, we had an offer on the house before the roof even went on. It felt wonderful.
During all of this time we were working on downsizing, taking the antiques and things I couldn’t part with to storage, and selling the things that we didn’t need anymore. This was a very eye opening experience and we went through so much stuff...so much stuff! We only had a 1700 sq ft home, how could we have all of this?
The time came to finally pull the RV out of the back yard. The day before closing, we left for the last time. Here comes the hard part…we decided to leave family. The people that we love, the people that love us, so that we could be happy. It’s not that we weren’t happy with them around, but in our hearts we knew this was the right move, even though it was a sad move. I cried, of course I did. We had gotten our oldest son set up in an apartment and he was getting engaged, so I felt a little better that he wasn’t going to be alone. We were also leaving our parents. They had been our rocks the years that the kiddos were growing up. We were leaving that security, to have no security!
That scares a lot of people, no security! We didn’t have a house with any equity in it, we had an RV, that we owed on and a truck that would pull it around. Our family was asking all of the What If questions. Things like what if you get in a accident, what if you can’t find places to stay, what if you have flat tires and etc. This is where my journey to find my inner peace really started….
My faith in God has grown exponentially, because you have to have faith in order to have a life like this! I am the navigator on our trips. I have 2 GPS apps open and we try to never travel highways unless we have to. I couldn’t imagine traveling that fast with the RV. I look at the roads the night before, say a prayer for guidance and before we leave I know which way we are to go.
We never drove in any rain in our first full year of being full time. We move about 150 miles every week to a new destination. We explore for a week or longer if we really like the area. Sometimes, we’ll leave sooner if we really don’t like it. We don’t typically make reservations ahead of time. What does that look like? Well, sometimes it’s the night before and we don’t know exactly where we are going the next day. That takes faith that God will provide for us and that we will always have a place to park.
Kevin and I have a wonderful relationship and have really only gotten upset once about how the RV was parked, but this time it was really warranted because the site was so un-level. Other than that, I just point and he backs it in, no words, just hand signals. This is one area that we have been super blessed in. We have watched many couples yell and fight while trying to back in.
Have we had any problems while Rving so far? Of course we have but again this is another area we have been blessed in. We have had the water pump go out but was a $50 fix, so that was easy. We had one flat tire, it was a slow leak, our exit was in a half mile, we safely pulled off at a gas station and a guy stopped immediately and said I saw you had a flat tire, let me help you change it! All in God’s timing. We had to outrun a hurricane that was coming towards us in North Carolina, found a great park with no trees near us and hung out there for a few days. We believe we have weather angels that follow us around, since we have escaped every bad storm that has come our way. By escape I mean either the weather splits around us or the trees that are knocked down are far away from us.
The kids have done absolutely wonderful and are thriving traveling. Faith has come out of her shell by talking to people now, they are learning so much more than they could have with their faces in books and they are making memories that will last a lifetime. Do they miss our family back at home, absolutely! But watching them grow up like this makes my heart so happy. I have peace.
The quarantine didn’t change anything in our lives. I am happy to say that I have the same peace now that I did then. We still do school each day, the play outside, and they still interact with people. We have learned that dandelions taste good and they are abundant here on this property that we’re staying at. We have plenty of local farms and farmers around here, we won’t go hungry by any means. This is still the same simple life that we set out to have, but our future looks a little different these days.
We are wanting to find property here in the Western North Carolina mountains to settle down on, to have about 5 to 10 acres to start with, so we can have a garden, a few small animals and a place for the dogs to run around and get tired. Will I still be at peace with myself? I really think so, we will still travel but this will allow us to have a home base and a place for Sean to call home. I’m going to be very specific about what we are looking for because this will be our forever place and I’m not willing to take anything less and I know it’s out there. So, 5-15 acres with some pasture and rolling hills with a steep area, a view to see the mountain ranges, a creek on the property so we can do hydroelectric with our solar and wind power. Shade trees for sure and a few building spots. I want property that our kids can call home too. Each of them can have their own little house for their family so they can visit or live.
I know that in time we will find that perfect property that is for us, ultimately I would love to have more acreage, but no need to be greedy, my list is long anyway. I can say that I have finally found my inner peace, that missing piece, how? Because I decided to enjoy life and enjoy what I do, take the time to spend with God each day and take time to watch the kids grow up because if you don’t step back now and pay attention you’re going to miss it all…...